Star Wars Retrospective: Episode 1

As I said earlier, over the next week, I'm going to be reposting my old reviews of the Star Wars Saga. Here is my entry on Episode 1.

Today, I am going to review the WORST Star Wars movie ever made, and I'm not talking about that animated Clone Wars movie.  I'm talking about the 1999 crapfest known as Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 

This movie was awful.  The action was dull, the characters were boring, and the plot was stupid.  I mean, the second line talks about a tax on trade routes.  Now, how is that exciting?

I'm not going to really go into the plot, because let's face it, everybody and their brother has seen this piece of shit in the last 10 years.  I will however, talk about the few things I liked, and the many things I didn't like.

First off, the many things I didn't like.  Now, I saw this movie when I was 16, so I was able to pick apart the movie back then.  It was so obvious that Padme, the supposed decoy, was Queen Amidala.  So many moments, especially on Tattooine, that just screamed "I AM Queen Amidala!"

And Jake Lloyd.  Ooh, Jake Lloyd.  His dialogue was annoying.  Now, I understand it wasn't his fault; George Lucas' dialogue is about as natural as an oral bowel movement, so you can't completely blame the kid for what he had to say.  But Jake Lloyd was supposed to do 2 things as Anakin Skywalker; show his innocence and his capabilities.  And Jake Lloyd does neither.  His "innocence" moments just seem...too rehearsed.  And that "Are you and angel?" line is so bad that it was actually spoofed in KOTOR 2.

"Are you an angel? Aw, I'm just kidding. That's the worst line I've ever used. Hope some poor kid doesn't start using it." -Atton Rand

Next, is midiclorians.  I know that midiclorians are based on mitochondria, but it's still stupid.  Midiclorians create a scientific explanation for something that should remain mystical.  News Flash Lucas; the universe you create is NOT Earth, and shouldn't be treated as such.  You created alien races and planets that couldn't possibly exist in reality, (Coruscant, the planet that is completely city), and you feel the need to create the midiclorians?  Why?

Third; Jar Jar.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate Jar Jar.  He's annoying, he's clumsy, he's offensive at times in his stereotypes, and he is braindead.  I mean, even in his "comedy relief" role, he fails.  Nothing he does is funny.  But, I don't hate him nearly as much as I used to, because of a webcomic, Darth and Droids.  It does a retelling of the movies, but as a pen and paper role playing game.  And in that game, Jar Jar is played by a little girl.  And, then it hit me; Jar Jar wasn't created by George Lucas; it was created by one of his kids, most likely one of the younger ones; Katie or Jett.

Fourth, the action, or lack there of.  Well, I should say good action sequences, because there's plenty of crap.  The only good action scenes I can think of are the pod race, and the initial battle between Qui-Gonn and Darth Maul on Tattooine.  Everything else is sub-par.

Now, there are some good things.  First off is Ian McDiarmid, who is awesome as Palpatine.  McDiarmid's performance as Palpatine shows shades of what he is to become, and who he truly is, but at the same time, maintaining the benevolence needed for his role as a Senator, and later, Chancellor.  And his performance as Darth Sidious is wonderful.  Even though George Lucas' dialogue is awful, McDiarmid makes it work.  The entire Star Wars movie saga hinges on him, and he carries it perfectly.

Next, R2-D2.  As with Palpatine, a lot of moments hinge on R2.  Where other characters would seem forced into a role, R2 fits perfectly. 

Even 3PO is there, and is awesome.  He performs the role that Jar Jar fails at perfectly; comedic relief.  It's just too bad he isn't in more of the movie, because he is always funny.

All in all, this movie is a definite miss when it comes to George Lucas' storytelling.  In my opinion, this one can be passed and still get an awesome story.  Hell, not watching this one elevates the rest of the saga.

My best friend, when he introduces Star Wars to his daughter, is going to go with the original trilogy, then Episodes 2 and 3, forgoing Episode 1 until she is old enough to see just why this one is so bad.

As you can see, I did this review 4 years ago. At this point, the whole saga is on blue ray, a format that I don't own.  I still agree with what I said; it's still a piece of shit compared to the other five. Although, the Clone Wars cartoon gives this movie a run for it's money with how bad it is.  Anyway, tomorrow, on to Episode 2.

Happy Birthday, blog!

Apparently yesterday marked one year of having this blog.  Made me realize that I haven't put as much as I thought I would have from my old live journal on here as I thought I would have by now.  So, starting next week, I'm going to put my Star Wars retrospective back on here.  They were seven posts on there, as I watched an analyzed the movies, one for each movie and then a final wrap up.

No TV or internet for a day

I got up this morning, logged in to my computer, tried to get on the internet; nothing. So, since I couldn't check my email, I tried my TV, and it didn't power on.  So, I put my pants on, and talked to my neighbors, and found out that lightning hit my building last night, and fried a LOT of people's stuff.

So I went ahead and bought a new TV from a pawn shop for 78 dollars, and came home, hooked up my TV to my game consoles and cable box, and try to watch TV; nothing.  I try the game consoles, they work fine. I try the internet on my computer, still nothing.  So I call my cable company, and they tell me that the internet and cable are out in my area.  So I sit all day, playing Dragon Age: Origins and watching movies on my laptop.  After pounding pavement looking for a job, of course. 

Now, here I am, with internet access, but I'm still having an issue between the cable box and my new TV.  It doesn't read the signal.  So I try to call my cable company, and they tell me that they they are still having troubles.  So, what I'm wondering is whether or not this new TV has issues with the HDMI cable, since I tried it in both HDMI slots.

So, yeah, interesting Monday. I'm going to call for a tech tomorrow, and have them take a look at it.

At least I get my glasses this week.  Finally be able to see clearly at a distance again.

Game I found

Found an interesting game on Newgrounds. It's  puzzle game, where "you" and four others are in a burning building, and you have to lock doors and divert water to complete the scenario.  The problem is that at least one of them is going to die in each encounter.  In order to get the true ending, You've got to get each one to the end in four different playthroughs in order to unlock the final ending where "No One Has to Die".

Check it out in the link below.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/615863

Life update

I got a new job, and I start tomorrow! And it's an IT job, so I finally get to use my degree for something other than a coaster!

I'm glad that I've got this. It's not full time, and probably won't be for a while, but it's a great stepping stone.  It's a contractor position, and I get paid on how long I spend at a job.  But hey, it's work, and money.

So, it's awesome.  I'm very excited about this!

Interview with Gavin Dunn of Miracle of Sound

Hey everyone! Hitokiri Akins here! Today, I've got an interview with Miracle of Sound himself, Gavin Dunn.  Many of you will known him from his most well known song, Commander Shepard, but he's done much more than just that.   Gavin has had a huge impact on the music and gaming industry, having a call out to said song in Mass Effect 3. (Link to said call out here.) And like many other internet based artists, Gavin is talented in many different types of music, even though he is mostly based in rock and roll.  Over the last couple of weeks, I've been in contact with Gavin and asking him questions about how he got started in the music industry. 

 

1. First off, Gavin, I want to thank you for taking time out of your schedule to do this interview with me. I would like to say that, on behalf of all of your fans, we greatly appreciate what you are doing.

You're very welcome!

 

2. What inspired you to pick up your first guitar?

When I was a kid I used to put on my Iron Maiden and Guns & Roses records and jump around the room playing guitar on a tennis racket - I kind of always wanted to play guitar and be a musician. I got my first real one when I was 15, changed my life! 

3. I was kind of the same way, though my musical endeavors never really panned out.  Though I am curious, what are some of the artists that have influenced you the most?

Well, the above mentioned 2 bands for sure, as well as Bowie, Nine Inch Nails, U2, Kate Bush, Peter Gabriel... people who tell great stories in their songs and always try different things. 

4. It's always interesting to see what influenced people.  You never know what to expect when you ask that question.  Now, since you do all writing, singing, play all the instruments, mixing, etc...what equipment do you prefer to create your music?

I use Cubase 6 as my main recording & mixing hub, running Kontakt 5 for orchestral stuff and Ableton Live for synth programming. 

5. I've seen mention that you have had problems with record companies and bands in the past, and that eventually chose to make a song that you wanted to make your way.   What kind of obstacles have you had as a solo artist? What kind of troubles have you had with releasing your music exclusively on the internet?

The internet is great for independent artists. Obviously I don't have the same budget for advertising & promotion as with a label, but I keep 100% of my profits as opposed to less than 10% on a label. Piracy is a double edged sword, I like that so many people have the songs but I'd prefer if they bought it, haha. But as it stands I earn a modest living from MOS and that makes me happy. 

 

6. Yeah, piracy IS the the worst part of the internet, but at least you've got a mature attitude about it. Anyway, out of the songs you've written under your Miracle of Sound name, which one is your personal favorite?

It changes from day to day, but Calamity, Life In Bullet Time, City Of Night are 3 I love right now. 

 

7. Always cool to hear that, and I'd be curious to hear what your favorites would be in a few months.  Now, one thing I'm curious about is that, except for your bout with Tinnitus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinnitus), you have kept to a "one or two songs per month" schedule.  How do you keep up with this schedule?

It became difficult to maintain the level quality last year doing one every 2 weeks, hence switching to monthly. I tend to create better work when inspired by an idea that pops into my head, as opposed to sitting down going 'Now I must write something'. I like when the idea comes to me but it does I work like crazy to get it done. Most songs take me between 50 and 80 hours to record and mix.

 

8. What's it like having become an icon in the gaming community for your music?

It's wonderful. MOS keeps growing and I keep getting more lovely messages from all kinds of gamers all over the world. It makes me a very happy guy!

 

9. And I'm glad to be part of that, Gavin. Do you have any tips for those starting out in the music industry?

Yes - learning to take advice and criticism is important, but learning which advice and criticism to ignore is equally important ;)

10. Do you have any tips for those trying to make a living through the internet?

Not really, if I knew the secrets i'd be doing it myself! I guess just make sure to have a product that is different and original and helps set you apart from the crowd. It has to be something you're passionate about, because passion is contagious.

11. Thank you very much for your time, Gavin, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the future!

Thank you too!

And there you have it; Gavin Dunn's musical inspiration and tips for new artists.  Check him out at the websites below, and look forward to more from me soon!

https://www.facebook.com/MiracleOfSound
http://miracleofsound.bandcamp.com/
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/miracle-of-sound
http://www.youtube.com/user/miracleofsound
http://www.youtube.com/user/MiracleOfSoundGaming
http://miracleofsound.net/

Internet manners, or lack there of.

I was playing Star Wars The Old Republic, and someone said something that kind of stuck with me. What was said doesn't matter at this point, but I haven't stopped thinking about it.

Now, anyone who has played an MMO knows the worst you can see there; sexism, racism, sexuality-ism...pretty much the worst things you can think of people.  And because they are anonymous online, they think can get away from it.

I think because of the lack of accountability for their actions online, people tend to act like jackasses. But that makes me wonder; are these the real thoughts of these people, or just them screwing around?  Unfortunately, I believe the former.  That they actually look down upon others, and say the worst of their thoughts in a forum where they can't be hit for it.

That's kind of why I not only advocate not feeding trolls online, but maintaining the same civility online that we give others in real life.  To do as Jesus said in Luke 6:31; Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

Now, whether you are a Christian or not, the Bible is a good basis on how to be a good and civil person.  Particularly the Ten Commandments and Jesus' teachings.  It's unfortunate that kind of thing is becoming a thing of the past, with the anonymity of the internet.  It's kind of disturbing, to be honest. Seeing so many people acting like this is not a good sign for the fate of this world.  That this is the true nature of these people....

So, I leave this entry with the same verse I brought up earlier. Do to others as you would like them to do to you.  Treat others with respect and honor as you would like to be treated in real life everywhere, and the world will be a better place for us all.